The Christmas Servant


We all have people that we admire.  To some it is the powerful athlete who plays with strength and finesse.  To others it may be the musician that makes a particular instrument come alive with majestic music.  To others it may be a political figure, a physician, an attorney, a theologian or maybe even a preacher or two.  They are our heroes.  We admire what they do, and may secretly desire to do the same.
At the risk of sounding pious, I must admit the people I admire most, are not very well known.  If I mentioned their name many of you would not recognize it.  They don't have any shoes; balls or golf clubs embellished with their name.  In the worlds eyes they are "nobodies!"  You see I admire people who have a servant’s heart.  A heart that is willing to please God regardless of the cost.  I call these people quiet servants.
Though these quiet servants are rarely in the spotlight, mainly because they insist on staying out of it, it is people like them that God has used in the most radical ways.  God called one woman who comes to mind in her teenage years.  The task that she was called to was one that required great risk.  A risk that could have had her thrown out of her family and community. A risk that could have resulted in an embarrassing label for life.  Yet this quiet servant did not argue, protest or resist, but humbly submitted to the call of the Lord.
Her willingness to be a quiet servant resulted in her being used in a more dramatic fashion than any other woman in history!  Who was this woman?  Mary, the mother of Jesus, who when the angel Gabriel told her this news simply said, "Behold the bond slave of the Lord; be it done to me according to your Word” (Luke 1:38).
Oh to have that attitude and spirit!  I don’t know about you, but when God asks me to do something risky, my first response is a series of questions!  “What am I going to get out of this?” Thus with one eye focused on the impossibilities and the other eye focused on ourselves, we rarely serve as God has called us too.
As you celebrate this Christmas take some time and reflect on the quiet servant, who willingly became the mom of the greatest Servant who walked the face of the earth!  Remember that Christ did not come “to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many!” (Mark 10:45)  By being a servant Mary had the honor of playing a part in giving the greatest gift all!  Christ came and purchased the free gift of salvation!  Through Christ we are Free!  Through Christ we are part of God’s eternal family!  Wow, what an awesome gift! And a little quite young woman had a part in it!
This year as we shop till we drop trying to find the perfect gift for friends and loved ones who already have everything let’s take a minute and reflect on the gift of being a servant. Give a gift that is of great value and extremely rare today – quite service.  In our faithfulness to quietly serve God and our neighbors, we might have the awesome privilege of being the bearer of the gift we call the Gospel and some we serve may receive that gift and inherit eternal life.  I don’t know about you, but I take the free gift of eternal life any day over another tie! 
Just imagine what God can do through faithful service!  If God gave Mary the grace to serve, He will give it to you too.  We all know that the average gift we give at Christmas, lasts only a short while, but the gift of service lasts a lifetime and the gift of salvation for eternity! Now that’s a great gift.  Think about that and have great Christmas!

Spiritual Intimacy


“We must remember that God will never drag us along the path of true-hearted discipleship. This would greatly lack the moral excellency which characterizes all the ways of God. He does not drag, but draws us along the path which leads to ineffable blessedness in Himself; and if we do see that it is for our real advantage to break through all the barriers of nature, in order to respond to Gods’ call, we forsake our own mercies. But alas! our hearts little enter into this. We begin to calculate about the sacrifices, the hindrances, and the difficulties, instead of bounding along the path, in eagerness of soul, as knowing and loving the One whose call has sounded in our ears”.   C H Macintosh

I want to take you back to last week's blog, because I believe the topic is crucial to those of us who have given our lives to serve as ministers of the Gospel.  At the risk of being redundant, I want to remind you of some essential ingredients to spiritual Intimacy.  
           
   III.          Know Yourself: Many pastors struggle knowing who they really are.  This often is rooted in fear and insecurity as we struggle to believe that God can really us.  We put a lot of effort into being like other leaders and as a result begin to loose who we really are.  This applies to our preaching, our intellectual abilities and our way of relating. We end up acting like we have more knowledge than we do, and pretend to be a different personality than we are.  If you get caught in that trap, it will kill you!  I hope to write more about this at a later date, but in the meantime consider these two quotes    
  •  "How can you draw close to God when you are far from yourself . . .  Grant, Lord that I may know myself that I may know thee” (Augustine).
  •  "Our wisdom. . .  consists almost entirely of two parts: the knowledge of God and of ourselves.  But as these are connected together by many ties, it is not easy to determine which of the two precedes or gives birth to the other.” (Calvin)[2]

  IV.          Know the Gospel
A.    Recognize your sin – repentance for what you have done.
B.    Admit what you cannot do – repentance for self-sufficiency.
C.    Realize why you don’t do it – repentance for being self-serving
D.    Remember Who did it for you.
1.        Jesus has purchased your righteousness.
2.        The same temptation you are facing and failing to overcome, Jesus faced and overcame on your behalf.
E.     Remember that through Christ you can do it - you can keep coming to Him, through ongoing repentance and faith in order to keep tapping into that power source to be transformed into His image.  

             
     II.          Know the symptoms of being spiritually sick[1].
A.    Using God to run from God.
B.    Ignoring the emotions of anger, sadness, and fear.
C.    Dying to the wrong things.
D.    Denying the past’s impact on the present.
E.     Dividing our lives in “Sacred” and “Secular.”
F.     Doing for God rather than being with God.
G.    Spiritualizing away conflict
H.    Hiding your brokenness, weakness and failure.
I.       Living without limits.
J.      Judging other peoples spiritual journey. 

P

    V.         And as review and reminder from my last blog, as a pastor or leader remember this. 

A.    Undivided Worship/Reflective Living.
1.     Make time for extended personal worship.
2.     Take regular breaks from worship and preaching responsibilities.
3.     Learn to give up a measure of control over worship services to others.

B.    Re-Establishing and Maintaining Spiritual Disciplines – Personal Piety.
1.     Spiritual Disciplines are activities intended to deepen our relationship with Christ.   They include:
a.      Primarily the Means of Grace – Prayer, Scripture, and the Sacraments.
b.     Also, fasting, solitude, tithing, evangelism etc.
2.     Invest in guilt free times of spiritual disciplines.
3.     Resist the temptation to give into the “tyranny of the urgent[3]

C.    Accountable Relationships for Spiritual Direction – Find trusted companions.
1.     Let the person who person who cannot be alone beware of community. Let the person who is not in community beware of being alone.” [4]
2.     These are trusted relationships where spiritual growth occurs.
3.     They know who we REALLY are and keep ups from living a false life.
4.     To grow in our spiritual intimacy is tough and we face two critical challenges “First the pressure of others to keep us living lives that are not our own is enormous.  And second our own stubborn self-will is much deeper and more insidious than we think. The possibility of self-deception is so great that without mature companions we can easily fall into the trap of living in illusions” (Scazzero, p. 87).




[1] Scazzero, Peter, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2006,
[2] Calvin, John, Institutes of Christian Religion, Volume I, Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 37.
[3] Hummel, Hummel, The tyranny of the Urgent, rev. ed. Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 1994.
[4] Bonhoeffer, Dietrich, Life Together, New York: HarperCollins, 1954, 57.

Running on Empty


I don't know if you have had someone close to you die.  But if you have, you are well aware of the feeling that overwhelms you upon hearing the news.  Last week I heard some news that struck me like the death of a close friend.  Another pastor's life simply unraveled in a very public way.  What made the whole thing more tragic was the responses that I heard from fellow leaders.... you know the responses the reveal our pious pride.  My point in writing this is not to analyse the struggles of a brother who got himself into a mess, but to challenge the rest of us to stop and make sure that you are not running on empty.     

I have been doing this long enough to know that there are many Christian leaders whose lives are a mess, but they have simply been able to hide it.  Others are so close to falling off the edge that it seems inevitable.  Regardless, I hope you will use a time like this to stop and take a long honest look at your life and see just how well you are doing.  Self-Management is an essential ingredient of a healthy family and fruitful ministry.  It is basically keeping an eye on your personal fuel gauge.  What follows is not original to me, but comes out of a Lilly Endowment Study that I participated in.  Of course I have "messed with it," but I trust it will help you have a long and fruitful ministry.  

Spiritual Formation is the ongoing process of maturing as a Christian both personally and inter-personally.  The personal and interpersonal dynamically relate to each other and are generally reflected in lifestyle disciplines and behaviors.  If you want to survive for the long haul, you need to need to attend to your spiritual growth by:
  1. Finding space in your lives for undivided worship (personal and corporate). I cannot tell you how important it is that as pastors you grow in worship.  Don't neglect that time of personal worship.  Find ways to sit under the preaching of God's word.  Listen to someone's sermon, not to get ideas for yours, but simply to drink deep of that means of grace.  Don't neglect your prayer life as it is an essential ingredient of worship. 
  2. Re-establishing and maintaining spiritual disciplines.  I fully realize that the idea of spiritual disciplines is often argued to be in juxtaposition to grace, however remember Paul's challenge to Timothy, "train yourself to be godly...watch you life and doctrine closely" (1 Timothy 4:7b, 16a).  For us to fully grasp the love of God, we must discipline ourselves to pursue it.  I have come to find that what was once a discipline has be come a delight!  
  3. Having open and honest relationships for spiritual direction.  I cannot tell how important it is to have people around you that can tell if you lie to them!  We need to surround ourselves with people who love enough, to confront us!  They are the ones that help us keep our life and doctrine pure.  One of the saddest parts of the the story I opened with is that he had people who knew he was falling and did not do a spiritual 911!   
Self-Care focuses on the ongoing development of a pastor as a whole person, including calling, relationships, physical condition and intellectual growth.  If you want to survive in ministry for the long haul,  you need to attend to your self care by:
  1. Taking care of yourself.  It is not un-spiritual to take care of ourselves.  Find at least two hours where you can be alone, no phone, no computer and work through the Spiritual Diagnostics Filters below.  Once you had done it, start working on those areas you have neglected.   
  2. Developing safe and trustworthy relationships  These may or may not be the same people as I mentioned above as they hold us accountable.  This is more about community, a place where you do not have a responsibility and can enjoy deep friendship.  Hopefully, people who laugh a lot and do take everything too seriously!  
  3. Remembering your calling.   I don't remember who it was, but someone told me to remember the date that I was ordained as a Teaching Elder.  I took that advice and pause every November 6th to reflect on God's calling in my life.  Many pastors become discouraged in a particular call or place of ministry and question their initial call.  Remembering your calling gives you the grace to not give up on your original or initial call, when a particular call is wearing you down. 
Marriage and Family is the commitment to the spiritual and relational health of  your wife and your children.  This is huge and if you neglect it, you, your family and your church will pay!  If you want to survive in ministry for the long haul you they need to attend to marriage and family by:
  1. Understanding the strategic role your wife plays in your life and ministry.   I get really frustrated buy those who seem to believe there is a particular mold for pastors wives.  This lie has caused countless struggles in ministry marriages and it is time to bury it!  Men, there is no such thing as an "ideal" pastors wife, so don't try to make your wife into one!  Do not relegate her to children and food unless she wants to do it and believes God has called her to do it.  Help her work out of her strengths, and embrace her as a gift God has given you in life and in ministry.  And most of all, make sure you listen to her!  Remember 1 Peter 3:7... Go ahead... Look it up! 
  2. Encouraging your spouse to develop safe, trustworthy relationships.  Many pastor's wives live very lonely lives and it is often because the pastor lives out of fear and does not encourage her to have safe friendships.  And yes, those friendships can be outside the church! 
  3. Making the spiritual and emotional health of your spouse and family a priority.  Don't just give your family the left overs!  Invest time and energy into your marriage and family. Make sure that they get the best of you.  Schedule time to play and enjoy your family.  Remember you are first a priest to your family! 
Below is the Personal Life Diagnostic Filters that came from a good friend Dr. Bob Burns.  I would encourage you to use it every few months as a gauge to your over all health.

Personal Life Diagnostic Filters

Physical Life Filter 
  1. Reflect for a few moments on your diet.  What are you eating and why? 
  1. How do you exercise regularly and adequately?  If you don’t, consider what you need to do about it. 
  1. When was your last physical exam? 
1.     What are areas identified that need to be worked on?

2.     What have you been doing about it?

3.     What are your sleep patterns?

  1. Reflect on any correlations between the way you manage your emotions and your present physical condition (including sleep, diet, exercise and overall physical condition).
Sexual Filter 
As you know, many pastors have struggled with issues of sexuality, even to the point of losing their ministry.  Because this is an issue we all must confront, we asked Ben Bahsme, a professional counselor who specializes in this area, to give us questions for personal review.  Here are his questions:

  1. How (and with whom) do you process your sexual issues as a pastor? 
  1. How do you deal with the temptation of internet pornography? 
  1. How do your issues with lust hinder your ministry, leadership at home and at church? 
  1. What role do your elders or fellow staff members play in accountability with sexual issues?
Social/Relational Life Filter 
  1. Name two person (or couples) you would describe as safe and trustworthy in your life.  Why do you feel this way about them? 
  1. How do you balance the competing demands of ministry and family? 
  1. Describe a new relationship you initiated and build with someone in the past year.
Emotional Life Filter 
  1. Mark, rank  and consider those that relate to you right now: 

Encouraged

Energized

Focused

Affirmed

Innovative

Discouraged

Overlooked

Fulfilled

Confused

Confident

Useful

Alone

Challenged

Frustrated

Overworked

Grateful

Stressed

Optimistic

Initiator

Concerned

Integrated

Struggling

Overwhelmed

Organized

Burned-out

Growing

Appreciated

Unchallenged

Goal-oriented

Task-oriented

Equipper

Team Player

Creative

Flexible

Resourceful

Current

 Comments on any of the above:


  1. How do you reach when your expectations are high but the results are low? 
1.     How do you handle these reactions?

2.     How do you deal with the loneliness of leadership? 

 Mental Life Filter 
  1. Name three people whose biography you would like to read. 
  1. Describe the professional develop that you would like to experience (schoolwork, seminars, books, new experiences). 
  1. What are you doing to understand the broader cultural trends in America?  Cultural trends in the world? 
  1. With whom do you share your ideas? 
  1. Who shares their ideas with you? 
  1. What are the most significant values that reflect who you are?
Spiritual Life Filter 
  1. How would you describe your walk with God over the past year?  Explain. 
  1. Reflect on how you are doing in the following areas taken from Acts 2:42-46: 
1.     Worship (personal and corporate)

2.     Instruction (studying and learning “the apostles’ doctrine”)

3.     Fellowship (relationships that stimulate you to grow in faithfulness and obedience)

4.     Evangelism and outreach (involvement in sharing your faith in lifestyle and word)

  1. Does someone hold you spiritually accountable?  (Is it “true” accountability?  Are you regularly asked the “hard” questions?) 
  1. When did you last get away for a spiritual and ministry planning time?